How I lost my foot

It was dark. It was freezing. It was unbelievably freezing. But I had to endure it. There was no way I could go back there without finishing the dare. They would skin me alive. The fear of not fitting in, of seeming like a coward, drove my actions. There I was, standing on the frozen lake, peeing my name on the ice. Not my proudest moment. The darkness caressed my naked body while the cold pierced through it. Why did I have to have such a long name? At that moment I could only curse my parents for the day they decided to have a son named Constantine. Don’t get me wrong, I like my name. It is very unique and I’ll never find anyone else with the same name, unless a strike of bad luck hits. But this was a different kind of strike of bad luck I could never have imagined would be attached to my name: the day I had to pee it in a frozen lake.

The trees seemed to laugh at me as the wind stroke their leaves. All the others were watching. This was my moment, it was now or never! Although I had already been there for a full five minutes with stage fright, it was now or never. So I started. It felt great to relieve my bladder of all those beers I had consumed. It just sucked it had to be on the ice, naked and with everyone watching. Things were going well, you could somewhat discern the letters from each other, but when I hit the second t I heard a crack. That wasn’t good but I chose to ignore it, as my thinking abilities were at that point non-existent. All that was filling my head was the fear of having to go back there with an unfinished mission and spend the next three months with only half a moustache. No way. Not when I had that job interview lined up after months of trying. So, for my own doom, I continued. I continued like a warrior. I peed my entire name on the ice. But, as stupidity is my middle name, I decided it was time to put an exclamation point at the end of my name to, you know, make a statement. While I motioned my hands to form a straight line with the last of the pee I had in me, because I was standing too close to the work of art, the ice gave in. My entire right foot went down into the water. It could’ve been a lot worse, but there you have it. That’s the story of how I lost my foot.

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