“The life of the animal is only a fragment of the total life of the universe”. Then what about suicide? A fragment of the universe would be destroying itself? No, not destroying; it couldn’t destroy itself even if it tried. It would be changing it’s mode of existence. Changing… Bits of animals and plants become human beings. What was one day a sheep’s hind leg and leaves of spinach was the next part of the hand that wrote, the brain that conceived the slow movement of the Jupiter Symphony. And another day had come when thirty-six years of pleasures, pains, hungers, loves, thoughts, music, together with infinite unrealized potentials of melody and harmony had manured an unknown corner of a Viennese cemetery, to be transformed into grass and dandelions, which in their turn had been transformed into sheep, whose legs had in their turn been transformed into other musicians, whose bodies in their turn…

– Point Counter Point, Aldous Huxley

Anúncios

We stand

“They kissed good bye.”

Pencil breaks.

“They kissed good bye. Life does that sometimes, you know. You love more than you think capable, but the end is near.”

Sips a chocolate liquor.

“Yes, the end is near. Near sometimes takes forever, sometimes not.”

Reflects on endings… doesn’t accept it has already come. Scratching head. Small sip. Re-reads.

“This time, near has already passed, faster than thought possible. In fact, near has come and gone so fast that it all just feels like a dream: it took forever while happening, but passed in the blink of an eye after gone. That’s how ending love feels. No matter when, it’s always like a lifetime or a second ago. But that’s love, you know?

Your heart gets broken. Yes, every single time. One way or the other, at least.”

Feels like another sip. Needs something else with it.

“It comes and goes as it pleases. Doesn’t respect time, age, color, religion or the like. It devastates. Like a tsunami. Heavy. Destructive. Beautiful. Unique. Every time unique. That’s difficult to understand.”

Turns on the heat. Sharpens pencil. Too much, it broke. Closes the curtains. No light can come in anymore, no judgment. Order of things was actually different.

Pours half of the last can of beer. Familiar smell, now with a whole new purpose. Looks at drinks… sighs. Sipping, we can do it.

“It can be destructive, alright. Something made to be so beautiful, with such dreadful characteristics. Something with such pure intentions and poor judgment. Something so…”

Has no clue of how to finish sentence. Sips are no longer counted.

“Gifts. People. Moments. All that is desired is… it doesn’t matter. Desire does not leave the imagination, anyway.

Desire of the new, exciting, refreshing, revitalizing. Desire leads you nowhere. If somewhere, to the doom.

Desire of happiness: the most dangerous of all! It affects your partner, children, parents, closest friends and most fierce enemies. Desire kills you.

Hope kills you.

But hope is something else entirely.

Talk about drugs!

What’s fashion takes you places. To the bad or to the good. What’s fashion saves you.

If you live your true self, must you succumb to desire, passion, hope… must you succumb to life itself. For life is no more than a dream, and a dream is no more than the possibility of life.”

Reflects upon things written.

“Tears rejoice, for tears rinse. Suffering evaporates, though a salt bond is formed forever. Tears hurt.

The breath is but an attempt to stand over what’s happened. Such doing is believed impossible, as time only progresses. Where do we stand, then?

We stand in he arms of a loved one, in the words of kindness, in the hope of a better future, in the vain words of a failed poet, in the hidden feelings of a successful figure, in the infinite spaces between the universes; we stand tall.

We stand after others have fallen around us, we stand on top of mountains conquered, we stand for what’s right, just; we stand for the possibility of error. We stand against hypocrisy, after all aren’t we all just products of our own nature? We stand for the right of being human, for the humanity of being us. We stand for ourselves, we stand for each other. We stand.

May the most harsh of winters and the most burning of summers, may the spring flourish what should stay and the autumn take what’s done – may them win against what’s human, but may humanity be it’s purest.

Shall we fall before what’s handed, may that be brave. Shall we die upon disease, may that be in our most perfect health. Shall the world beat us, may that be after we have beaten the world.”

O céu

A cada respiro, um obstáculo.
Inspira
Julgamentos limítrofes
Espira
Cansaço frustrado.

Coração bate como ferida
que lateja dolorosa.

Para todos os lados
A vista é cerca
Para baixo
A vista é corrente
Para cima… ah!
Para cima a vista é céu!

É céu que as vezes
tempestade
É céu que as vezes
calmaria
É céu.

Quem carrega a chave
É sempre prisioneiro
Pois liberdade
aprisiona.

Como deixar pra trás
o Éden prometido
de campos verdejantes
e fresca água
cercado de amor farpado
e preso de falsa liberdade?

Tentadora a ideia
de uma vida ilusória.
Mas ah!, o céu…

Quem me dera um dia
minhas asas enfeitadas de coragem
pudessem se abrir e conhecer
o céu.

ad infinitum

É senso comum saber que quanto mais descobrimos, mais dúvidas temos. Mas quando buscamos respostas para quaisquer questionamentos e nos deparamos assim com ainda mais dúvidas, sentimos isso na pele e conseguimos realmente compreender o que isso significa.

No momento em que decidimos expandir nossa mente, aquele insight em que percebemos que precisamos saber mais, aquele segundo em que as coisas viram e vamos em busca do primeiro conhecimento tendo o próprio conhecimento como único objetivo, este momento é como o big bang da consciência. Um único momento decisivo onde tudo começa, e a partir disso o único caminho possível é a expansão.

Assim como é impossível voltar no tempo sem o big crunch, é impossível saber menos sem a morte. E assim como não podemos provar o que acontecerá após o primeiro, o mesmo se aplica ao segundo. A única certeza que podemos ter é que iremos buscar cada vez mais até que algo nos pare, e que esse conhecimento nunca poderá ser tirado de nós.

Creio que a (in)finitude do universo é tão duvidável quanto a do conhecimento, e ambos estão intimamente ligados. Enquanto houver universo, haverá algo a se aprender, a se descobrir. Sendo assim, se há um fim no (ou do) universo, há de haver também o do conhecimento. Mas até onde podemos enxergar e constatar, as possibilidades (estas sim) são infinitas.

Obviamente quanto mais procuramos, mais necessidade sentimos de procurar. O principal é tentar manter a sanidade – ou será que não? Talvez somente não deixar que sejamos pegos. Afinal, o sanatório não nos dá de mãos beijadas os meios para alimentar nossa loucura. E que me matem antes que tirem meu direito de conhecer!